It seems to me that July came and went without me. Somehow, having an unexpected emergency trip to the hospital and then a 69th birthday on July 31, plus hearing that a loved cousin, who is about 10 years younger than me, has cancer throughout his body, has me doing some deep musing, and since I don't have much energy to garden or quilt, I have lots of time to muse.
For years I've had the word "Simplify" at the top of my office bulletin board, and I've never gotten around to doing it. This morning it came to me in a flash that in order to get out from under frustration and feeling overwhelmed, I MUST simplify. I started visualizing throwing out stuff, just dumping it in trash bags and taking it to the trash container, and it felt so good. Not just material stuff, you understand, but also thoughts and attitudes and ideas.
I've always wanted to be a Renaissance Woman, who could know about everything and do everything well. Well, guess what...that sure never happened. A couple of years ago I ran across the term "information addict" on a website to help women organize their lives and homes. I knew at the time that I was suffering from that addiction. I want every book, every pattern, every article, on so many subjects that we can hardly make it through the office anymore. When in the world did I think I'd ever have the time to make all those needlepoints, and quilts, and gardens. With age and moving slower I have felt more and more overwhelmed...how will I ever be able to get everything done that needs to be done.
Maybe all the stuff I thought I "needed" to do, didn't really need to be done. So now I am relaxing, and hopefully healing, in peace and quiet, while thinking about priorities and what is it that I really want to do with the rest of my life?. What is really important? Maybe, it's OK to ask for and receive a little assistance. Maybe I don't have to do it all myself. Maybe some of it doesn't need to be done.
I even have assistance in my musing. In addition to ChoCho and Ditto I now have Tigger, who came to dinner and decided to stay. They take turns laying on my lap and letting me pet them as I must. Of course, Tigger still gets hisses and growls from the other 2, but they will accept him soon, I'm sure. ChoCho didn't like Ditto very well when he first adopted us, but they have a great time together now. Joe says that the cats must leave marks or signs on the property like the hobos did in the old days to show where food was available. How else do they all find us? But I've decided that I must put out "I love and care for cats" pheromones that attract hungry and lonely cats.